The Green-Eyed Mommy
Have you been looking at that other mom’s Range Rover at the PTA meeting? Maternal jealousy is a common, corrosive emotion. Jealousy denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one feels they rightfully deserve. Jealousy also refers to anguish caused by fear of losing someone or something to a rival. Envy is an urge to spoil or devalue what is good in others. Envy and jealousy are born out of the pain of emptiness and feelings of inadequacy. The urge is to regain some internal balance by denigrating the...
read moreNEVER Let Them Walk to School Alone!
Why are we still debating whether children under the age of 13 should be allowed to walk to and from school alone? Is keeping our children safe really up for debate? As a clinical psychologist, I often counsel victims of violent crime. Given the risks that children face in our time, it is naïve and simply irresponsible to argue, as Lenore Skenazy does in her book “Free-Range Kids,” that because we were all raised in the 1970s in a “free” way, our kids should be as well. In the ’70s, our generation also...
read moreThe Heene Parents and Emotional Abuse
If what is said is true, there is clear evidence of emotional abuse and neglect. Many people think that Child Protective Services only gets involved in cases of physical and sexual abuse, but there are also categories of neglect and emotional abuse. Although it varies from state to state, emotional abuse or maltreatment is defined as a pattern of behavior by parents or caregivers that can seriously interfere with a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological, or social development. Emotional abuse includes severe and repetitive...
read moreTag and Tears at the Cemetery
Today is the Yartzeit (Hebrew word for anniversary of a death) of our second child, Ozzie. He died October 18, 2002. Our son died while in utero at 26 weeks. I still remember that cold day because my then 20-month-old son was bundled up with blankets in the stroller watching our family cry and say goodbye to a child we had never really even properly said hello to. I believed or hoped that Asher would escape the pain of the death of his little brother, Ozzie. The tiny white casket seemed so out of place in the big black hearse. It just...
read moreSexting Your Spouse and Other Fun Things!
In my private practice, I work with couples that are struggling with many issues — whether a conflict-filled marriage, a sexless one, or both. As you can imagine, they do often go together. There is the rare conflict-filled but totally passionate marriage, and the sexless marriage that seems otherwise fairly healthy. However, to have a fully connected and conscious couplehood, you need emotional safety and connection as well as a mutually satisfying sexual life. Many couples who have been together for many years and who have children...
read moreBalloon Boy’s Family — Plain and Simple Neglect
In this expert’s opinion, leaving an inflated balloon in the yard is no different than keeping a loaded unlocked gun in the house. Totally irresponsible parenting! Dr. Michelle Golland: I remember the Heene family from “Wife Swap.” I admit, it is one of the trashy reality shows I TiVo and watch when I can’t sleep. And watching the Heene family’s story was one of the times that I became concerned about the children on the show. Richard Heene seems to have trouble controlling his anger and frustration. They are now...
read moreDon’t Worry, Be Happy!
So are you negative like your father or mother (if they are), or does your skin crawl every time they interject a deflating comment about something you’re telling them? Researchers report that about half of human happiness is genetically determined. Also, around 10 percent of our happiness comes from life circumstances — for example, where you live. This explains why people who move to sunny southern California from upstate New York may be happier in Los Angeles for a while, but they soon adapt to the sunny weather and lament the...
read moreCasey Anthony Labeled Caylee Trouble?
Novelty T-shirts send a damaging message to your kid. It’s been almost a year since Caylee Anthony’s body was found, and her mother Casey has been sitting in jail waiting for her first-degree murder trial to begin. Meanwhile, those who have been following the tragedy continue to speculate on how and why Caylee met her terrible fate, shoved into a plastic garbage bag and tossed into the woods. Now what the little girl was last wearing is creating even more speculation. According to police reports, Caylee was wearing a shirt that...
read moreWhy Moms Procrastinate
I have been procrastinating writing this article all day! I of course did other things instead, like the dishes, organize my daughter’s Barbies, and surf the Internet. All things which are clearly less important than writing this piece on procrastination. Or are they? So here I finally begin: why do people procrastinate, and what can we do if it is a serious problem in our lives? According to Joseph R. Ferrari, Ph.D., and Timothy A. Pychyl, Ph.D., 20% of people identify themselves as chronic procrastinators. For these people,...
read moreDropping the F-Bomb May Be Good for You!
Researchers in England have discovered that swearing helps us cope with stress and pain. Say what? Dr. Michelle Golland: So no wonder we moms are concerned about the amount of foul language we use in front of our children. Who is under more stress and yes, even in pain than a mom?! What group most needs to drop the F-bomb? When we drop a sippy cup right on our toe and scream f@!*ck (my favorite profanity), it actually triggers our natural fight-or-flight stress response, which increases our pain tolerance. Let’s face it — a sippy...
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